‘cause it was me who lost you
July 2011
39 posts
Conclusion: pending.
Circumstance: How can you sincerely ask someone to attempt what you yourself has attempted & failed to do?
Challenge: But what I had failed to do, God had put into motion, and throughout the progression of facing my flaws, found success in the form of strength + joy; peace.
Why do people like to say they have a ‘day off from work’ when Work is just an interruption to Life?
Are you still fighting your way out?
Just know that when you make it through, you will be that much stronger.
You’re a Bird with songs to shout & the same refrain continues singing out,
“If you love her, let her go…”
That when you are gone I’ll be fine without you” — AVA, ‘Do It For Me Now’
On the eve of this release, as I type into black buttons, and stare at a glowing screen in my hotel room, I feel grateful that I’m able to create music and send it out into the world like some sort of ship on the sea. It is how I connect. It is how I stay alive. I realize now that this record isn’t mine anymore, it belongs to the hearts and brains of those that connect with it. And I humbly hand it over. I hope that it brings you to life in the way that it brought me to life.
Love,
Vanessa
Hi! …. hi. Hi.
One thing I’ve learned about myself: When we finally met again, I was too overjoyed to say anything more. Hello. It means that I’m back; I’m able to say that because you’re here now. What a thing we take for granted.
Life in this latitude.
Their English isn’t perfect, but you know what they mean. Presenting what a few of the highschool students in China have said.
Partly why I both adore and despise written word.
scanning the horizon for your silhouette,
i realize you’re already closer than i thought.
hurry, dear. the dark is setting.
you’ll lose visibility but isn’t that what i’m here for?
relentless light exudes from me, determined to keep you safe.
this beacon is all the hope i have,
shining for you,
wishing you would find a way
because you seem to have lost
everything.
where is your map? your captain? your true north star?
but alas, this hope is all i have
& i must watch you go.
i am but a lighthouse,
shining in this single instant and bypassed in another.
In fact, there are many guns and ships to jump. Your artillery and that ghost fleet of an armada speaks truth enough.
If only one moment’s word could resound throughout all of history, and unmade history, for you to hold your fire and to stand your ground, then all is not lost.
I urgently, ardently, implore you not to jump the gun. Please. Except I’ve already jumped ship.
Response to Catherine Dong’s art:
http://www.straight.com/article-286491/vancouver/performance-artist-chun-hua-catherine-dong-launches-granville-island-arts-protest
Living and dreaming in the wrong sequence & in the wrong space.
Someone hand me a straight edge to set these abstract things right in a tangential way because I’m left shards of a memory continuously falling just beyond reach.
In a single instant, every twenty four hours, worlds align, collide, and pass.
Why should you be thankful for freedom if you were never meant to be imprisoned?
Two things: I am me, and you like me the same. It is freeing. Thank you.
What is each time zone but a world of its own?
We were a home and here we are now,
all alone yet all at Home.
Eloisa to Abelard
How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray’r accepted, and each wish resign’d;— Alexander Pope
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixèd mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.
It’s been awhile. Right now, I have returned from 3 weeks of living in reality. Comfortable life here is so desensitizing to fundamentals. There’s a sense of urgency to live and to just do something that matters. What matters now is what lasts through out time.
In essence, the thing that matters should be the thing that continues to matter, is it not?
I must use this urgency before I settle in again, if I ever do. Hopefully, not for a while. Hopefully, not ever— Never.
Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
summer song (: